i was teaching
tennis
on 31st
& 5th
when plane 1
flew low
over our bubble
flying south
past the Empire
State
down Manhattan
toward the trade center
where were you?
where were you
when the towers
came down
where were you
when the bubble
burst
Trauma is not what happens to you…
it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.
Gabor Maté, (1944 – ), Hungarian-Canadian physician…
breathe through
life
will break
your heart
those
you love
will part
breathe through
family
will lift
you up
family
will let
you down
breathe through
kindness
will nourish
your flowers
hatred
will threaten
your towers
breathe through
friends
will support
your art
friends
will drift
apart
breathe through
fire
will warm
your hands
flames
will change
your plans
breathe through
love
will keep
you alive
connection
will help
you thrive
breathe through
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if you’re reading
these words
i send you 💚
The crystal clear sky of that day, the perfect weather in becoming the horror, terror and a subsequent turning point in the US. I was working for FEMA Response and Recovery in Virginia and saw live on Tv the second plane hit the second tower- the first already engulfed in flames-a strange circumstance that I happened to be passing by the break room where my supervisor stood paralyzed in front of the TV. Every individual has a story a history and memory, some far worse than others Of that day. Is my story the shock of not knowing where my husband- who worked at the Pentagon- or my daughter who was on a job training in Maryland and whether they were safe or is it somehow entwined with hundreds of stories told to me by 9-11 New York survivors needing FEMA assistance. What I wish to address here is something else and has to do with how I saw the traumatic effect 9-11 had on my daughter, a Millennial. The day of 9-11 had, in my experience, an eerie dark presence like the day Kennedy was assassinated, or the tenuous days of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the everyday drowning in fear of the Cold War as two Titan Nations, the USSR and US squared off, each building a bigger bomb at every turn. And much more on the list- like Vietnam or the CIA toppling of an Iranian Democracy to install a dictatorship, let alone Central America and the list goes on. What I am saying is this- I had experience from the past that allowed me as an adult to experience this in a way that was tempered. If you grew up during Détente, as my daughter did, well that is something so very different and nothing could have prepared your psyche then or now to figure out the complexity and depth of how this touched and changed your life as well as being part of a larger generational network still working on this. I certainly don’t have answers for this but I believe to keep writing on it, expressing it is also the elucidating of it.
Once again, I find your “breathe through” such an apt and real expression. It is like a hand on the shoulder. Nice!!